My Vision
Hello, I am Dr. Vincent Barla from New Delhi. I am a catholic and was born and brought up in Andaman and Nicobar Islands, presently working in Delhi. From the last quarter of the year 2009, I was experiencing a sort of calling that God wants me to do some thing but what ? It was not clear to me and is still not clear but some kind of inspiration pursuaded me tot to create this website to write down something .
Long ago durign my childhood, my parents wanted me to become a Priest and I was sent off from my family to join a minor seminary. But due to certain problems, I could not join. My parent thought, they will send me to seminary after I have finished my senior Secondary but instead I admitted myself to a College. After having completed my Graduation, I got a job in Andamans and the desire to become a priest went away from my mind. Subsequently after passing a competitive examination, I got a better Government job in Delhi, got married now have two daughtors but there had always been some problems ; the biggest one was having a house to live in. It was at this point of time when I was struggling, I had a dream. I saw crucified Lord Jesus on a hill and I was passing through with a big distance. This dream provoked me to think about my own life. I just thought, perhaps I am away from Jesus. I began to say morning prayers every day. Just after a few days, I got a postcard inviting me to attend a charismatic prayer serice. I went and attended it. Nothing big happened but after some years, my problem of having a house and many other problems were solved without my making big efforts. Slowly everything went smoothly - I had no problems left in my life.
Long ago durign my childhood, my parents wanted me to become a Priest and I was sent off from my family to join a minor seminary. But due to certain problems, I could not join. My parent thought, they will send me to seminary after I have finished my senior Secondary but instead I admitted myself to a College. After having completed my Graduation, I got a job in Andamans and the desire to become a priest went away from my mind. Subsequently after passing a competitive examination, I got a better Government job in Delhi, got married now have two daughtors but there had always been some problems ; the biggest one was having a house to live in. It was at this point of time when I was struggling, I had a dream. I saw crucified Lord Jesus on a hill and I was passing through with a big distance. This dream provoked me to think about my own life. I just thought, perhaps I am away from Jesus. I began to say morning prayers every day. Just after a few days, I got a postcard inviting me to attend a charismatic prayer serice. I went and attended it. Nothing big happened but after some years, my problem of having a house and many other problems were solved without my making big efforts. Slowly everything went smoothly - I had no problems left in my life.
I never miss Sunday Mass but was never involved in any other church activities. But it was sometime in the year 2005, inducted into the Parish Council as representative of Adivasi Catholic Sabha. After sometime, in the year 2007, I was installed as Extra Ordinary Minister of Holy Communion. In the beginning of the year 2010, I started receiving some sort of vision, which was quite unusual for a layman. I first started feeling that I have vestment like of a Deacon and after some time the vestment was like a Priest. After a few months, the vision became something else and I started feeling a red scalp cap on my head which usually a Bishop wear. The vision and calling became so strong that it made me passionate. I asked for prayers of some of my friends. In Catholic Church I can never thought to become a Priest or Bishop but at the same time I thought why such vision or calling is haunting me everytime. I never have in my mind to leave Catholic faith nor wanted to become a cleric with the Church but even if God wants to use me for his service, how to start with? I just prayed and prayed and at one point, surrendering myself to Jesus, I said , Lord, I am weak and unworthy man, so do what ever you want to do with me. Suddenly an idea or some kind of inspiration came to to my mind. I thought, I have received a lot of Graces from Lord from birth to till this day when I am about 49 years of my age, why not to share those graces with others. The spirit of God persuaded me to share all such graces with everyone through this medium. When I was reading the bible on that day( Book of Sirach Chapter 3: Verses 21-26) I found;
21 For great is the power of God alone, and he is honoured by the humble. 22 Seek not the things that are too high for thee, and search not into things above thy ability: but the things that God hath commanded thee, think on them always, and in many of his works be not curious. 23 For it is not necessary for thee to see with thy eyes those things that are hid. 24 In unnecessary matters be not over curious, and in many of his works thou shalt not be inquisitive. 25 For many things are shewn to thee above the understanding of men. 26 And the suspicion of them hath deceived many, and hath detained their minds in vanity.
Yet at another place in Book of Ecclesiates(Chapter-XI) God says:
"Cast your bread upon the waters; after a long time you may find it again. Make seven or eight portions; you know not what misfortune may come upon the earth. When the clouds are full, they pour out rain upon the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, wherever it falls, there shall it lie. One who pays heed to the wind will not sow, and one who watches the clouds will never reap. Just as you know not how the breath of life fashions the human frame in the mother's womb, So you know not the work of God which he is accomplishing in the universe. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening let not your hand be idle: For you know not which of the two will be successful, or whether both alike will turn out well."
After reading the above, I decided not to spend time on things which are above my ability to understand. Yet, still I am not able to understand what God actually wants me to do.On the night of Christmas(2010) I was made wake up at 3.a.m.There was a strong call from God but again I was left clueless. I just said to Jesus "Jesus, I am not worthy but tell me what you are asking out of me." Nothing happened for next three month. My younger daughtor had appeared in 12th Exam. during March 2011 and wanted to become a Medico so I was in doube mind as to whether to continue with my activites in the church or drop myself for the sake of my daughtor's career because I was devoting 4-5 hours time every Sunday for the Parish. I finally decided to tell my intention to the Parish Priest that I will not be activily participating in the various activities of the Parish but a week before Easter-2011, Parish Priest himself relieved me from the assignment of Extra Ordinary Minister Eucharist without even personally consulting me. I felt little hurt because people started questioning me as to why it happened. I had no answer for their question except telling them of my priorities. I silently withdrew myself from attending and participitating in various activities of the Church. In this process, the only good thing I could learn from my parishioners is that they liked my small introduction to the Mass and even the way I was giving service to the Parishioners in the Parish Office every Sunday. This gave me a boost and encouraged me to start writing about myself and the Graces of Lord in my Life to make it known to every body who visit this website that God always loves us in spite our weaknesses he uses us to spread his Words. After what happened on Christmas-2010 and Easter-2011 night, I decided to do whatsoever possible for me though internet. I feel satisfied, yet the road, the goal,the future is not known but I always say "Jesus, I am unworthy man. You take me where you want me to be but give me peace, health of body, mind and soul so that I can fulfill your mission which you wish to carry on through me."
Christmas-2011
I often ponder on my vision again and again but have not yet found solution. I ask God to tell me what does he want me to do. It is He who can show me the path. On the night of Christmas-2010, I was made to awake in the night. The same thing happened on the night of Easter-2011. Yet again I could not sleep for whole night on 28th 29th December,2011. I again prayed to God to let me know what does he want me to do?
Pentecost- 2014.
Feast of Pentecost is memorable day for me. As usual I attended the mass, received the Holy communion and while praying after receiving the Communion, I felt the powerful presence of Holy Spirit. Tears started oozing out of my eyes and peace prevailed in my mind body and heart.
21 For great is the power of God alone, and he is honoured by the humble. 22 Seek not the things that are too high for thee, and search not into things above thy ability: but the things that God hath commanded thee, think on them always, and in many of his works be not curious. 23 For it is not necessary for thee to see with thy eyes those things that are hid. 24 In unnecessary matters be not over curious, and in many of his works thou shalt not be inquisitive. 25 For many things are shewn to thee above the understanding of men. 26 And the suspicion of them hath deceived many, and hath detained their minds in vanity.
Yet at another place in Book of Ecclesiates(Chapter-XI) God says:
"Cast your bread upon the waters; after a long time you may find it again. Make seven or eight portions; you know not what misfortune may come upon the earth. When the clouds are full, they pour out rain upon the earth. Whether a tree falls to the south or to the north, wherever it falls, there shall it lie. One who pays heed to the wind will not sow, and one who watches the clouds will never reap. Just as you know not how the breath of life fashions the human frame in the mother's womb, So you know not the work of God which he is accomplishing in the universe. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening let not your hand be idle: For you know not which of the two will be successful, or whether both alike will turn out well."
After reading the above, I decided not to spend time on things which are above my ability to understand. Yet, still I am not able to understand what God actually wants me to do.On the night of Christmas(2010) I was made wake up at 3.a.m.There was a strong call from God but again I was left clueless. I just said to Jesus "Jesus, I am not worthy but tell me what you are asking out of me." Nothing happened for next three month. My younger daughtor had appeared in 12th Exam. during March 2011 and wanted to become a Medico so I was in doube mind as to whether to continue with my activites in the church or drop myself for the sake of my daughtor's career because I was devoting 4-5 hours time every Sunday for the Parish. I finally decided to tell my intention to the Parish Priest that I will not be activily participating in the various activities of the Parish but a week before Easter-2011, Parish Priest himself relieved me from the assignment of Extra Ordinary Minister Eucharist without even personally consulting me. I felt little hurt because people started questioning me as to why it happened. I had no answer for their question except telling them of my priorities. I silently withdrew myself from attending and participitating in various activities of the Church. In this process, the only good thing I could learn from my parishioners is that they liked my small introduction to the Mass and even the way I was giving service to the Parishioners in the Parish Office every Sunday. This gave me a boost and encouraged me to start writing about myself and the Graces of Lord in my Life to make it known to every body who visit this website that God always loves us in spite our weaknesses he uses us to spread his Words. After what happened on Christmas-2010 and Easter-2011 night, I decided to do whatsoever possible for me though internet. I feel satisfied, yet the road, the goal,the future is not known but I always say "Jesus, I am unworthy man. You take me where you want me to be but give me peace, health of body, mind and soul so that I can fulfill your mission which you wish to carry on through me."
Christmas-2011
I often ponder on my vision again and again but have not yet found solution. I ask God to tell me what does he want me to do. It is He who can show me the path. On the night of Christmas-2010, I was made to awake in the night. The same thing happened on the night of Easter-2011. Yet again I could not sleep for whole night on 28th 29th December,2011. I again prayed to God to let me know what does he want me to do?
Pentecost- 2014.
Feast of Pentecost is memorable day for me. As usual I attended the mass, received the Holy communion and while praying after receiving the Communion, I felt the powerful presence of Holy Spirit. Tears started oozing out of my eyes and peace prevailed in my mind body and heart.
Moving towards God: A reflection.
"For it is not necessary for thee to see with thy eyes those things that are hid. In unnecessary matters be not over curious, and in many of his works thou shalt not be inquisitive. For many things are shewn to thee above the understanding of men."
"In the morning sow your seed, and at evening let not your hand be idle: For you know not which of the two will be successful, or whether both alike will turn out well."
I was just reflecting on the above two verses of Bible and just thinking what is religion and what a person should do to get the reward of heaven after death.There are number of religions and Gods on this earth. At the same time the world is full of mysteries and human being may perhaps discover the whole truth. We have never seen the God, yet we believe him and worship him. Every religion has two aspect first the "teachings" as contained in the religious book and second the "way of worship". We can take any religious book of any religion the thrust is on morality which a human being must adopt. In case of any problems in our life, we turn to the religious book because we consider it as "Words of God". The second part that is way of God is a kind of man-made and often think if we do like this, this will happen like this and if we do like that, that will happen like that. Thus why God warns us that we should not waste time for unnecessary things which are beyond our understanding and do our work whole hardheartedly.Every religion sets a list of moral standards by which we can base our life and morals. If we take the Bible, the moral standards are given in the Bible:
And God spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the LORD your God…
'You shall have no other gods before Me.'
'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'
'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'
'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.'
'Honor your father and your mother.'
'You shall not murder.'
'You shall not commit adultery.'
'You shall not steal.'
'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'
'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.'
In the New Testament at Matthew 22, when Jesus was confronted by the so called religious experts and asked Jesus;
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:36-40).
If we have to lead a peaceful life on this earth, we have to follow the above moral standards. Often we do not follow the above 10 commandments and run to God. We do not do our duties we are supposed to and go to God seeking his mercy and help. Often we may find people, who may go various Shrines, places of Worships, undertake journey to Holy Places, recite the name of God but when it comes to fulfilling of their official duties and duties toward their neighbour and family, they lack. God wants that we should first follow his commandments. If we follow the commandments and then go to God for His Mercy and help, He will certainly listen to us.
I was just reading a story of Near Death Experience of a Person. The person asked God" What religion is best on the Earth?" and God replied" I don't bother. God said" Love thy God and Love thy Neighbor. All religion teaches us the same.No matter how and the manner in which you worship him.
Often we mix up the rituals of a religion with the meaning of the religion. To me a man is truely religious man if he follows the above commandments. Other rituals are man-made or adopted from scriptures. Let us always remember the above commandments and follow it in our life.